Diversity in Science Carnival

Details for the May Carnival celebrating Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month.

1. Write a post about an influential STEM professional or teacher (scientists, technologists, engineer or mathematician).  Personal posts about someone you know or from your field of study are always great posts.  You could also write about research or work done related to Asian-Pacific American culture.

“Asian-Pacific” refers to “all of the Asian continent and the Pacific islands of Melanesia (New Guinea, New Caledonia, Vanuatu, Fiji and the Solomon Islands), Micronesia (Marianas, Guam, Wake Island, Palau, Marshall Islands, Kiribati, Nauru and the Federated States of Micronesia) and Polynesia (New Zealand, Hawaiian Islands, Rotuma, Midway Islands, Samoa, American Samoa, Tonga, Tuvalu, Cook Islands, French Polynesia and Easter Island).

2. Host a guest post of a colleague or student from an Asian-Pacific American background.  Guest posts are perfect ways to diversify your content and expand audiences.

3. Let us know about science and engineering blogs written by Asian-Pacific American individuals.  MinorityPostdoc.org and the Diversity in Science Carnival loves to keep a list of he diverse STEM bloggers.

4. Submit you post to the official Diversity in Science Carnival Submission form. Deadline is Friday, May 25, 2012.

When the May carnival is announced be sure to check it out. Read the posts and leave comments letting authors know how much you enjoyed their work.

Hosts for upcoming carnivals are always appreciated.

June 2012: Pride Month

July 2012: Summer Break

August 2012: Disability Awareness (@BioInfoTools of Code for Life has signed up to host this topic)

September 2012: Latino Heritage Month

October 2012: The Importance of Allies

November 2012: Native American Heritage Month

If you are interested in hosting a month and/or proposing a carnival topic feel free to drop note in the comment section.

Happy writing.

DNLee

First there was the article published in the April 2012 edition Chronicle of Higher Education: Black Studies: ‘Swaggering Into the Future’. It is a story on the new generation of Black Studies Scholars at Northwestern University. I read that piece – the word swagger drew me in. I thought it was very interesting, informative.  Check it out.  The article not only showcased rising stars and doctoral students in the program, it also introduced readers to discipline of Black Studies which always been a bit of confrontational subject.  Especially when the discipline first emerged in the 1960/70’s, there were plenty of people who objected to idea that African-American perspective was a legitimate lens to review and critique history, sociology, political science or anything from that matter.  And the reasons for the objections were (and still are) many.

• There’s no such thing as an African-American lens
• An African-American lens isn’t legitimate
• African-American based studies are one-dimensional, lack depth or academic objectivity.
• Analyzing history/political science or any aspect of the human experience through an African-American lens rehashes negative feelings and only serves to divide ‘us’.

The truth is, these criticisms aren’t limited to Black Studies, it extends to nearly ALL ethnic and gender based studies programs.

In fact, I have noticed how vocal ethnic studies opponents are becoming.  In Arizona, any and all Ethnic Studies have been banned in K-12 Public Education and some lawmakers would like to expand it to higher education.  What is it about ethnic studies that make some people so uncomfortable? And why is that proponents of ethnic and gender studies have to fight so hard to prove that such perspectives are legitimate and worthy of inclusion in the academic curriculum?

A couple of weeks after the original piece at the Chronicle of Higher Education, one of the publication’s bloggers, Naomi Schaefer Riley wrote her own response to the article: The Most Persuasive Case for Eliminating Black Studies? Just Read the Dissertations. O-o. I was slack jawed by the title and her case for eliminating Black Studies as a discipline altogether.  And as I read her truly vitriolic screed, issuing snipe after snipe at grad students, I felt ill. And sucker punched. Her remarks reminded me once again of all of those insecure feelings I shared in Impostor Syndrome post. Folks just don’t want you here (in academia). They don’t value your work or even you as a person.

Luckily @TressieMCphd – a PhD student in Black Studies—wrote a fabulous response. Plus, she did so with such accuracy and panache and well just awesomeness, read it yourself: The Inferiority of Blackness as a Subject. TressieMC nails it right on the head!  She also affirmed the experiencesof many minority scholars.  She notes that as black graduate students “You are simultaneously invisible and in the spotlight…all the time.” Whoa, if that didn’t remind me of my own experiences On Being Conspicously Invisible.

And Schaefer-Riley’s words and later her reactions to the criticism made it clear to me that sometimes the ugly is real. That feeling like you’re no valued because you are (fill in blank) isn’t in your head.  There really are people – backed by major powerful institutions like Schaefer-Riley was until a little while ago – who denigrate you because you are…well not ‘mainstream’ or conventional.

I’m being nice and deliberately broad.  That’s because back-handed insults at you (or your work) can be based on anything that makes a minority stand out: being a blogger, woman, person of color, differently-abled, having a vibrant personality, coming from a less-affluent family or having an accent.  It also makes it clear that this notion of inclusion, and creating an academic environment that is inclusive and welcoming to [Black] Scholars does start from the top.  For a while the Chronicle was standing boldly and firmly with Schaefer-Riley.  @Chronicle_Amy was defending Schaefer-Riley’s proposals that there were ‘more important things for folks like TressieMCphd to be upset over.  It all rubbed me the wrong way and I thought less of the Chronicle for it.

Diversity may be the spice of life, but in some halls of higher education, douche fairies are there to douche all of that nonsense. (Pun intended).

I’m not sad to see Schaefer-Riley go. And if Black Studies isn’t a course, but a cause, as Schaefer-Riley defends herself in a Wall Street Journal op-ed, then what becomes of her now?  I suspect she going to elevated to saint status by the ultra-conservatives out there and start speaking on the Rush Limbaugh/Glenn Beck/Michelle Bachmann circuit.  I recommend keeping an eye out.

The Beastie Boys.  At first, folks thought they were a novelty group. After all, the musical art form known as Rhythm and Poetry (RAP) was definitely a Black Music genre, specifically folks who experienced the grit and grime of urban living.  Rap had this authentically tattered image and was beautifully rugged, rough and sharp.  The first single that dropped was Paul Revere.

The first 3 seconds of the record was the dopest, most hypnotizing beat I had ever heard. Play that today and the party still goes bananas.  No way, these were some white boys.  You see, the album cover had no pictures of them. (Which, is an old school record industry tactic when artists are marketed ‘outside’ of their racial genre.)

License to Ill Beastie Boys 1986

Plus, there was no music video for this song or the second release, Brass Monkey, another def jam.  Like all great rappers, they copiously identified themselves o their tracks.  There were three of them: Ad-Rock, Mike D and MCA.  I conceded that Mike D and Ad-Rock’s voices were a bit nasally and something about the pitch of their voices might belong to white boys, but MCA…His voice was raspy and thick and the cadence of rhymes were smoother, too.  He definitely fooled me. He fooled a lot of people. By the time the first video hit MTV, No Sleep til Brooklyn, it was confirmed. (Though I’ll admit that track isn’t one of my favorites).

We were all fooled. The Beasties were no novelty group, they really did have skills. And they have continued to record and tour.  They didn’t fade out like man, hence their induction in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame this year. They could hold a mic and rock a crowd.  And let’s not forget that they are some of the pioneers of the genre who introduced suburban audiences to their style were the first rap artists to get regular play on MTV. (MTV was being really crappy in the 1980s. They were only playing rock music so a host of artists and music was being overlooked.)  You could definitely tell they were influenced by Run-DMC. Like them they employed the volley style of rapping where each artist gives a line or two and the other completes the rhyme.  And they did this with 3 people! Listening to them was like listening to a group of kids on a street corner recounting some mad tale. And their individual styles were so apparent, not just their physical appearances, but their voices and rhyme style.

MCA always had this steely resolve to him. Quiet and sure. Don’t let the smooth taste fool you. He delivered some of the most memorable spits of the trio.  I was surprised when I later discovered he directed many of the music videos and later started his own film company.  And let’s not forget back in 1998 beef with The Prodigy over performing Smack My Bitch Up. To a young woman, still figuring out her feminist identity, that spoke volumes to me.  The Beastie Boys showed me that talent and entertainment could also be purposeful and activist. And MCA was an activist for Tibetan Independence Movement.

So here’s to you Adam Yauch, also known as MCA.  This Hip Hop Maven misses you already.

MCA of The Beastie Boys 1964-2012

Shake Your Rump

Body Movin’

Sure Shot

Sabotage

Intergalactic

There a good news, too that I missed.  I would have been blogging and re tweeting in real time.  So here I am dropping links and showing inter-disciplinary love for my science tweeps.

For example @astroholbrook is in the final throes of a really great Kickstarter Campaign: Black Sun: Documentary Film about the 2012 Solar Eclipses. Dr. Jarita Holbrook, is documenting the work of Dr. Aplhonse Sterling of NASA and Dr. Hakeem Oluseyi who are studying the eclipse of the sun.  It’s an awesome research program and the documentary is as well. So, I’m encouraging everyone to check it out and contribute. Less than a week to go.

Plus, my girl and Curly Hair Mafia Ace, @DrRubidium was guest blogging at io9.  She dropped some gems all weekend long.
Drop the base to make bagels more delectable
How did they really die? Reinvestigating the deaths of the famous and infamous
Chemists create multiple Death Stars, Dark Side rejoices
The most badass physicist you’ve probably never heard of
and my FAVORITE >> Why Facehuggers Make Great Science Teachers (check this one out first!!!)

So what wast I doing instead? I was busy meeting my new niece.

Thanks to a last minute call, I was allowed to go into the deliver room with my sister and witness her C-Section and baby delivery. It was so awesome!

My sister had a c-section. This is the doctors fiddling with the umbilical cord.

Fresh out of the womb. So fresh, but not so clean

It was gross and messy and exciting.  I tried not to be too obnoxious. But I’m a science communicator. I live to document and share stuff like this!

Me, suited up to go in to delivery with my younger sister

I walked around in my paper scrubs for the longest time.  I walked out into the waiting room searching for my brother-in-law to tell him how it went.  I was replaying scenes from Doctor television shows.  I felt so empowered. I kept saying to myself, “Yes, yes I am Dr. Lee.” But okay, okay, okay, I’m not *that kind* of doctor. LOL.

I’m back in Oklahoma and I’ve been grinding like crazy. I’ve got to get out of this town this summer.  I’m so excited about going to Tanzania this summer to study African Giant Pouched Rats up close. So I’ve been trying to get my research equipment and supplies ordered.  I’ve been thinking about all of the stuff I’ll need to do make everything go well. Plus, it crossed my mind that this will also be an awesome outreach opportunity. So, I’m getting some things hammered out.  I’m crafting a proposal for a crowdfunded science outreach project while I’m there. Stay tuned. I’ll be reaching out to all of you for assistance and support.

The Impostor Syndrome I’ve experienced manifests as never ending quizzing, asking me basic questions about a topic to demonstrate that I really know something. It comes in the backhanded compliments of people who say things like,
“You knew that”
“You speak so well”
“How do you know that/that person”
“YOU got a DDIG” (a NSF Doctoral Dissertation Improvement Grant)

It’s not these phrases per se, it’s how folks say it – with a tone and pitch of surprise or as if it they were asking a question, with eyes wide, like a deer-in headlights. Perhaps most people don’t mean any harm by asking those questions or being genuinely surprised. However, it definitely betrays them; it reveals their biases and [low] expectations they have of some people.  I’ve become especially sensitive to coded language and remarks – certain phrases or ways of behaving or interacting with minorities that ring out like a dog whistle.  The biases may not be very blatant and individuals may not be aware of them.  But this nagging uncomfortable feeling seeps in that tells me that folks are thinking, “What is she doing here?”

And then that doubt plants itself in my mind and spirit.  I feel out of place and insecure more often than I care to admit. I feel like I have all of these extra hoops to jump through. I have to prove that I am worthy of where am I right now. To behave in a way that communicates that I’m here because I deserve it, not because of charity or because of a diversity fellowship or that I landed some great opportunity only because I’m double minority.  We all get chances, but why is it so G-D hard for everyone to believe that I’m here because I deserved it as much as anyone or perhaps more than anyone else?

Yet, a more difficult question comes to mind, How do I handle these casually-made, perhaps unintentionally, offensive reactions?  How do I assert myself in the most effective, yet and politically? And this question matters more because it sets the field for all future interactions I (and perhaps other females/persons of color) will have with this person/institution. I have been in several academic settings, where I am the other – usually the lone or even trailblazing other.  I have learned, sadly, that it is imperative that I assert my personhood and ‘teach’ folks how to treat me respectfully. It’s fine line and I try to be diplomatic so as not to shut the conversation down.  However, these lessons must be delivered swiftly.  The times I failed to do so taught me much.  The most difficult situations have been when persons of authority, say department chairs or deans are the offensive ones.  (This is where and why allies matter so much). It is a struggle. I desperately want to scream and lash out.  I feel most uncivilized inside.

I bust my ass.  If anything, I risk coming across as brash and cocky. I know I’ve earned every bit of it and I’m not keen on placating some privileged person’s ego.  However, that also means I’m more likely to be described as bitchy, uppity, or not-staying in my place – again more coded language that must be addressed when and if it comes up. I’d rather be described as no-nonsense, confident, and assertive.  I see how (and why) some people become those no-nonsense hard asses that makes everyone call him/her Dr. Suchinsuch all of the time: because some people are all too quick to dismiss your accomplishments and your hard work.

Have I to exorcised this Imposter Syndrome demon fully? No, but I do pretty good job of kicking its ass every now and then.  I embrace my inner-Awesome. I thank God daily, and on really tough days I rock this song as my affirmation.

I Don’t Want to Be by Gavin DeGraw

It didn’t occur to me that I, a mere post-doc at this great big institution, would be the first Black lecturer that she (or any) student in that senior-level biology class would have had. Surely, all of them – no matter their ethnic background- have seen a Black person on that side of the podium before. Right? I guess not.

Her words were poignant; they also struck a chord.  I didn’t attend a HBCU either; so, I completely relate to her experiences.  I had one, 1, African-American instructor in college, my freshman English composition teacher.  I attended Tennessee Technological University, a medium-sized university, with about 10,000 students in Cookeville – the heart of middle Tennessee in the Cumberland Plateau. There were 3 African-American professors at my college, two in the history department, one in the business school, I think, plus 3 university administrators. It wasn’t until I started my doctoral studies at the University of Missouri – St. Louis that I had my very first (and last) Black Science Professor – Dr. Godfrey Bourne, of Afro-Caribbean heritage.  At majority institutions, Black professors are rare and even more rare in science and engineering departments.

Although, this was just one student, her personal account is telling the Higher Education system something very important: Students are crying out for a more representative faculty.

Check out what these Black and Latino Engineering undergrads from Bucknell University say in this CNN Money Report Missing: Minority scientists and engineers

I felt exactly like these students when I was in their shoes. To see someone who looks/sounds like me. Who comes from familiar places and spaces. Who can show me that this path is navigable.  But for whatever reason I completely forgot those feelings once I crossed the stage. That was until yesterday.

Perhaps her words were right on time.  I was/am still recovering from the Experimental Biology 2012 meeting in San Diego.  That meeting was eye opening. I would say hello, introduce myself, tell people what I work on, and without fail they would ask, “What’s next?” Such a strange question to me. I just started this project, I thought.  For a long time I would reflexively respond ‘a tenure-track’ position. But the truth is, I haven’t been very excited about becoming a college professor lately, especially if it meant working at a major or medium-sized research institution.  I’ve been flirting with working at smaller institutions – teaching colleges or masters-granting universities. Better, but eh. Even those seemed like incomplete fits.  Then as I was talking, interacting and networking with scientists and students outside of my field, things started coming into view.

I love research, being in the field, getting dirty. I love outreach, sharing it with non-scientists online and in real life. I love talking about science. I love introducing people to new or over-looked opportunities in STEM.  I enjoy teaching and working with students from K-12 to graduate level. But where does someone like me go – and earn a decent living?  K-12 schools wouldn’t allow me to do only do bench research with students. Plus, I’ve been uncertain how I would fit in at the university level.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been chided for my enthusiasm, bubbly personality, or interests in reaching under-served audiences.  Which confuses me because isn’t improved teaching and broadening participation a goal?  It’s as if the very things that bring me joy (and for which institutions are quick to take credit for my hard work when it’s time to be accountable), AND I also happen to be very good at are also looked down upon by so many.  I’m good at all of those things; however, my greatest strength is my ability to see connections across the aisles.

I’ve been introducing people science for a while now. I’ve converted people who once thought science was boring and irrelevant. I’m like a wingman. Being a member of scientific communities and many affinity groups means I am able to see and create bridging opportunities between different, often disparate communities.  As a result I am able to engage new audiences in discussions about science and diversity.  I see collaborative opportunities that no one else sees or even dares to imagine.

I have been trying to inspire a culture change in the sciences and research disciplines, but at the local level.  Perhaps, I would do better at the funding agency or professional science society level. Funding agencies (like NSF, NIH) and professional science societies (like AAAS) have incomparable influence on individuals and institutions as it pertains to setting professional ethos and the inclusion of individuals from under-represented groups in the sciences at every stage of the pipeline.  Such organizations seem to be an ideal place for someone interested in fostering deep relationships between under-served audiences and STEM.  These organizations seem to thrive on new ideas and creative energy.

And I have never heard of anyone (not even a big shot R1/2 Researcher) denigrating a program officer/director for being too enthusiastic or eager to help get his/her science funded or promoted.  That alone is food for thought.

I am beyond excited about this.  Plus, it gives me a very new arena to network with others — FASEB Biologists. I’m a biologist and do experiments, but for whatever reason, my science societies aren’t members of the ‘Experimental Biology sect. FASEB membership includes science societies that focus on applied biology in the health biomedical related research arenas.  All of my science societies are part of the American Institute of Biological Sciences (AIBS) — yeah, I know the names certainly don’t help clear things up. But AIBS societies are more of the basic biology societies covering alot of the taxonomy, natural history, agriculture, and natural resources fields.  I can see how they are different.  However, in the last year, I’ve become acquainted with FASEB and some of its member organizations. And I have to say this much, FASEB offers an incredible amount of support (financial and otherwise) to students and junior professionals.  FASEB has an undeniable committement to diversity and inclusion in STEM and higher education. FASEB sponsors a number of minority access programs such as the Minority Access to Research Careers (MARC) and has a very strong presence at the SACNAS and ABRCMS annual meetings.  Thanks to Alberto Roca of Minority Postdoc.org for introducing me to these amazing organizations and facilitating my attendance to each.

In fact, I’ll be presenting a version of this talk at APS: Blogging, Tweeting, & Writing: How an Online Presence can Impact Science and Your Career.  But since the goal of the panel is provide wisdom to thec rowd, I expect it be very interactive.  And I know my co-panelists, it’ll sure to be as much fun as it is informative.  In fact, they’ve each made announcements.
Jason Goldman – Science and Social Media at Experimental Biology in San Diego
Dr. Isis – Sessions of Interest at #EB2012
PH Lane – Packing for #EB2012 (which reminds me to pack some ‘nice clothes’ for this trip).

Some folks have asked about live streaming. I’m not sure about that, but you can follow the hashtag #apsComm and us on twitter @DNLee5, @DrIsis, @PHLane, @JGold85. We’re speaking at 3 pm PST.

Some other #SciComm friends will be at #EB2012 – the official hashtag of the meeting – such as @SciCurious whose an official blogger for the American Society for Pharmacology and Experimental Therapeutics,@hapsci, official meeting blogger for ASBMB, and @Comprendia who is co-hosting an event with ASBMB at the meeting. Can’t wait to see all of these great people and many more.

Also check out: Experimental Biology @ExpBio and American Physiology Society Executive Director @ExecDirectorAPS

Although, there won’t be many talks or posters in my specific field, I am a science nerd in general. I love learning new things. So I have no doubt I’ll be engaged, plus I’m a complete nut for Exhibit Hall Swag.  However, I am looking forward to any presentations on physiology ad behavior and I’ve got my eye out for anyone who does ANY kind of bio-behavior work with rodents. I’ve got some experimental design work to do and I think I can get some new insight from researchers who see things a little differently than I do.  So all in all, I’m looking forward to the entire thing: the presenting, the presentations, the networking, the professional development (and the partying). Ha!

But around 2:30 in the morning I awoke to the most terrifying sounds of thunder and wind I had ever heard.  I listened closely for the sound of sirens, then the fall of hail. Nothing.  I was afraid, but relieved that I heard no sounds of warning of impending tornadoes.  I laid back down and began to drift off when I hear a whistle.  I wasn’t sure if it was a siren, but the storm was so loud I got concerned. I turned on the radio and the meteorologists are giving blow-by-blow storm coverage as if they were sports announcers calling plays.  I listened as they called my city and county and said I had 45 minutes before the tornado arrived.

What? Did I hear that right? I got dressed and listened more, as I heard them give the location of the storm and expiration dates of the warning.  That tornado that blew through Norman, Oklahoma killed  6 people. It seemed to be heading right for Payne county but suddenly it just dissipated.  The rest of the weekend saw more bad weather across the Plains, but things stayed pretty clear in Stillwater.  In fact, it’s been sunny with clear skies and beautiful outside since yesterday.

Such a stark contrast.  And interestingly it accurately explains how I feel.  Some stormy days, some sunny days.  Most of the time I’m a ball of enthusiastic energy and I smile a lot. Like everyone, I get the blues.  However, it is a state of being that I reject. I’m a deliberate optimist; and I proud of that.  I’m sure it keeps me sane and healthy.  I also believe it’s the reason for my successes in life.

I think I forgot how blessed I am.  Even in the middle of a storm, I remind myself that a rainbow is coming.  I choose to be happy and as a result I am.  So, I’m not going to let strong arm student loan collectors get me down or my writing demon make me feel insecure or complain about my isolation and loneliness in my department.  Nope. Right now, for this moment, I am choosing optimism and claiming those things that will make me smile and feel better about myself and my future.

I feel better when I wear my hair big! I feel confident, bodacious and in control.

And I know from past and present experiences that energy matters.  I mean just these last two days I set a goal to write daily and I have.  Has it been hard? Yes.  However, I have been productive, and as a result I feel great.  So, I’m letting this feeling ride.

5 Things I Will Get Done This Year!

1. Publish my dormant research manuscripts.

2. Go to Africa and start my field work.

3. Comfortably pay my monthly student loan debt and get out of default.

4. Do independent Science Outreach and Professional Development but not upset my PI for doing this extra stuff. I need these activities for my own piece of mind and fulfillment. I love research, but simply staying put, muting myself and my enthusiasm because it not what ‘others have done’ will only make me feel sad inside. It’s making me feel sad inside.  Surely I can be a highly productive postdoc AND still continue to be the Superstar that I am. And I am. I’ve got to stop worrying about other people’s discomfort with my awesomeness.

5. Step my Science Blogging niche game up. Maybe not right this moment, because I got to make sure the science game is on point (e.g., the research articles) but I’m ready to get noticed – in a good way.  I’m ready to pour the foundation for my next level. Perhaps I could land additional writing gigs or consultation offers (to meet those financial goals). Or maybe my style of science communication will register on some new radars (e.g. The Source, Vibe Magazine or Melissa Harris-Perry Show). I think folks are just about ready for a Hip Hop Maven to drop some mad science and get more folks on board sharing STEM with broader audiences.  I don’t know exactly, but I know I’m ready.

I’m ready to be ready.  So I’m asking for what I want. As my grandmother would say: Closed mouths don’t get fed…and I’m certainly hungry.

What goals are you claiming for this year?  Do you feel inspired or optimist about your future? Tell me all about it.

The writing is on the wall.

I have a demon.  Writing has always been my nemesis.  I know, this might sound like the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard. I’m a science blogger for goodness sake.  But I have overwhelming insecurity about my writing; (sometimes it’s even paralyzing).  Interestingly, blogging helped me defeat that demon once before.  Blogging actually helped me improve my writing.  One of committee members remarked at how polished drafts of my chapters were, better than he had ever read from a student before.  I was flattered. Practice does make perfect — that and some great lab mates who read and critiqued my drafts many times before sharing them with the committee.  The truth is, I really miss my old university.  It was a very supportive and encouraging environment.  It wasn’t perfect (I didn’t publish my works), but I didn’t feel like the mess I am right now.  My old nemesis has set up shop in my mind again – Science Writing. I mean writing up my science research. Writing up experiments to submit to journals.

I’m a postdoc, dammit. I’m at the precipice of my career.  I’m at no-turning-back-now point in my career. Writing about science and research and science communication is great, but when they say publish or perish, they don’t mean online publishing.  They mean the meat and potatoes of science and academia.

The first step is admit you have a problem and ask for help. I reached out and I was led to Paul Silvia’s How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing.  The foundation of his advice is to write routinely. Schedule a time. Guard it jealously; and write. Write your thesis. Write articles. Write book chapters. Write grants. And do all those things that are needed write, such as read necessary papers, revise drafts, confirm references.  You’re even allowed to write creatively on other projects.  The goal is write, whether you feel like it or not. Whether you feel inspired or not. Write.  Measure what you’ve done – word count, page count, chapters completed, revisions submitted, whatever.  Metrics matter.

I’m still at the setting a viable schedule phase, but I realize the last time I needed to stay accountable for writing I stated my goals and daily progress online for the whole world to see.  It worked before, so here I am again.  I’m putting myself out there for all you to judge and/or encourage me.  But the courage to do all of this came when I met Dr. Joan Slonczewski, scientist and science fiction writer, yesterday.  She was the department seminar speaker yesterday.  In addition to her talk – “Bridging Biology and the Arts and Humanities: Acid-stressed bacteria in science fiction”, I had a chance to speak with her several times was truly inspired to tackle this demon once ad for all.  I took her presence and her words to me during our conversations as Divine Providence.

First, on Academic Writing:

After your defense, don’t delay the write up. It only gets harder.

She wasn’t necessarily talking to me, but she was.  I was in a room with graduate students discussing the pros and cons of teaching/researching at a smaller college.  Her words were like jab in the side.  I know I am over due for writing up and submitting my dissertation chapters for journal publication.  But for some completely flaky and/or specious reason, I just haven’t done it.  And what it completely sad (and simultaneously infuriating) is that it is done.  No extra stats to do. My committee was so damn fantastic that they advised and critiqued my papers the way journal editors would do.

So, objective #1 – Schedule a writing time. Monday – Friday mornings (for starters) writing from 9:00 am – noon. No checking email. No twitter, no phone calls. No meetings.  Silvia says to carve out at least 4 hours a week writing. I need to narrow down and figure when is my best time to write and effectively eliminate distractions.  This should be a good ‘pilot study’.

Goal #1 – Write up and submit my dissertation chapters.  I’ll need to set up a major board or system for writing down my ultimate and intermediate goals and deadlines.  I also need to come up with a metric system for keeping track of my progress (and sharing with you all); but this (writing it out for the blog) is how I’m getting started. I probably need to set up something akin to an editorial calendar where I can write up my writing assignments – both academic and for blog in one place, very conspicuous to me.

However, I realize I also need some carrots, too. Dr. Slonczewski also shared her entree into science fiction writing.  Science inspires her imagination, and as a result she begins to see things, the world through new hypothetical lens.

My Sketchnotes of J Slonczewski's talk about Acid Stress bacteria in Science & Fiction

All of her scifi narrative are imaginary takes on real biological phenomena of the microbes she studies. She also shared that she wrote her very first scifi book before starting graduate school.  It was a lark, but she realized she loved it and continued writing throughout grad school. In fact, the writing proved beneficial. She was able to write up her thesis quickly because she was already in the practice of writing routinely. (A nod to the advice offered by Silvia and affirmation that discipline matters.)  I’ve been saying that this postdoc experience has been a hoot.  I swear, weekly lab meetings alone give me enough fodder to write plausible fiction, that I could become the next Michael Crichton.  I even shared on twitter that I think I’d like to write short stories inspired by my science experiences. So I’m going to indulge my creative writing side, too. Plus, this offers me some positive rewards.

So, I’m introducing Short-story Saturdays.  Each Saturday I’ll post a story that I’ve been ruminating on.  I don’t promise that it will be great or even complete; but I will post it.  It’s that accountability thing.  I’m also hoping for some feedback so I can refine my skill, voice, etc.  Deep down inside I’m hoping I can catch the attention of a publisher/benefactor who might be willing to pay me a little moolah so I can generate some revenue to get the Department of Ed off of my back.

It’ll be interesting and productive ride, no matter the outcome.  Thanks for joining me.

DNLee

I love science.  I loved school.  I took out a lot of loans, but only in grad school.  I had no loans for undergrad.  My bachelor’s degree was paid for first by my Army ROTC Scholarship (Yes! I was this close to joining the Army. Heck I even got a nomination for West Point.  I was serious about getting a college education. I was a blue collar kid with no money. I pursued every option) and later by my Speech Team Scholarship.  My Pell Grant and Tennessee Student Assistance Corporation awards plus those ‘full ride scholarships’ had everything covered.  My alma mater, Tennessee Technological University was a tuition-free school for state residents.  In-state students only had to pay maintenance fees, which were ~$800 a semester when I started college, 20 years ago.  When I graduated that fee increased to a little less than $1000 a semester.  I was able to attend college full-time, stay on campus, get a meal plan, and had enough money left over to buy books, supplies and posters for my cinder-block dorm walls for about $4700 a year!

Those golden days of funding and affordable rates are over.  12 years later (a full academic generation) my sister considered attending the very same university and the cost of attendance was $14,000! That’s insane.  The cost of high education has skyrocketed and has far out-paced the financial aid options to help students cover these costs.  This is worth a few posts, too – another time.

When I started taking classes for my masters I paid for it out of my pocket, with a little help from a slot machine jackpot.  Student loans were just not on my radar.  Other students in the department had Assistantships and were taking out loans. I was living at home with my folks so I didn’t comprehend their stress.  That all changed my third semester. Things got tough and I had to pitch in so as to keep a roof over my head (and that of my parents and younger siblings).  Suddenly, I understood what it meant to need student loans to in order to live so that one could concentrate on his/her studies.

I moved to St. Louis for my doctorate program.  I was an old vet to student loans by now.  And I used them, gladly and happily.  I understood/understand that I have to pay ALL of that money back, but I was sure that it would be ready when the time came.  How? I don’t know.  I didn’t figure out the details.  As I neared the completion of my studies and the realities of life started coming into focus, I started praying for a miracle.  I’m still praying.

First and foremost, I recognize that I am my dearest enemy in my fight with finances.  I put off paperwork. I put off sitting down and working out repayment solutions.  So, here I am, two years out of school and paying Federal taxes – for the first time ever!  Add to that the violation I suffer every month from student loan repayments.  I defaulted. I get that.  I am now rehabilitating those loans. So, I’m now getting it together.

But…

I’m feeling as exasperated and filled with a sense of lack like I was in graduate school. After being a full time student since kindergarten, and being teased by everyone for being in school forever, I finally have a job, a real job!  So, I can enjoy it, right? I can start saving and socking away for emergencies and retirement and buying a house. Right? Why am I still eating Ramen and living in an apartment?

Because I didn’t prioritize my financial goals.  Shoot, now that I think about it. Did I make any financial goals? That was a really bad call on my part.  So, I’m offering my life as a lesson to  students out there.

1.  Tenaciously pursue non-loan options to pay for your undergraduate education.  Parents and students, start as early as possible learning the financial aid landscape for your post-secondary education student.  Even as early as middle school, apply for every scholarship program you qualify for. Essay contest, children of employees of Whatever organization, summer programs and learning internships.  Visit this blog for a list of various scholarship opportunities.

2. Seriously, assess your interests and commitment to post-secondary education. I think college is great, but it may not be the right choice for you/your student or the timing may not be right.  Be honest with yourself. You only get so many semesters to get federal financial aid so don’t waste it.  A few bad grades early on can really weigh your GPA down and it’s a shame to run out of money just when you get the hang of studying and found your academic passion.  Don’t get me wrong. You will need some sort of post-high school education if you want any kind of stability in your adult life. However, it doesn’t have to be a 4 year college education.  Two year college or even  6-12 month certificate programs are perfect entries into the workforce. And to be real, plumbers, electricians and many engineering and science technicians make more than I do.  So, don’t sleep on the range of options out there, even in STEM.

3. The good news is that in STEM, acceptance into graduate school (for the PhD and for some Masters programs) comes with a funding.  So you don’t need a loan to pay for school.  Assistantships pay  modest monthly stipends (and thanks to the pressure of the NSF and NIH the pay has gone up substantially since I started grad school), so you shouldn’t need loans. However, that depends on the cost of living where you are and how you live. Think about this. There are pluses and minuses: get a roommate, live alone, have a family, neighborhood dynamics, etc.  It all adds up. And in the end, you need to have some peace of mind so that you can actually concentrate on your studies.

4. For graduate school, be very clear about what you are there to do.  Only get as much education as you need for the job you think you want.  Having a Masters or PhD is great, but no one pays you a bonus for having those degrees.  You might end up with a bachelors job to pay off those student loans you got while pursing those advanced degrees.

5. Finally, don’t put off making arrangements to pay off and consolidate those loans.

Mo Money Mo Problems by Notorious BIG featuring Mase and Puff Daddy)
My more money are those Student Loans and my more problems are the collectors like Sallie Mae.

Right now I’m quite glad that I don’t have any extra mouths to feed. I’m thankful that I’m in good health and have had no major set backs.  Because the truth is, I’m living hand to mouth and it sucks.  Sucks more to acknowledge my own culpability.  It also sucks because I’m not alone.  Way too many post-docs, junior faculty and especially adjuncts are living the exact same life. Something has got to change.

Around the same time, St. Louis Magazine was querying several top people in the Metro area for their Big Idea - “Big Question: If you had $10 million dollars, what idea would you fund to transform St. Louis”. I was recommended by the St. Louis Academy of Science to be one of the interviewees. That question was answered by I’m one of 45 people who answered the question.  I was deeply honored to share some print space with some local heavy hitters like Economic Developer John Edwards, Beer Heir Adolphus Busch IV, and the truly anointed Rabbi Susan Talve.

My Big Idea:  Serve Student Debt Away.

You can still order reprints of that issue which provides a slightly edited version of my thesis.  Below is my complete proposal.

St. Louis is home to several universities and colleges as well as Fortune 500 companies who educate and/or employ smart and capable individuals willing to serve and mentor others.  However, one major set-back for many people’s philanthropic interests is the ever-increasing need to pay down mounting student debt.  What if we could provide under-resourced communities quality supplemental educational opportunities AND give individuals the opportunity to serve their student debt away?  For every 100 hours of service, volunteers would get $1000 of their student loan debt relieved.  Scientists and engineers could run weekly after-school clubs, host field trips and research experiences with students from under-performing school districts.  College students could provide tutoring in math, science, and reading or participate in weekend and summer college-prep camps.  The catch is the volunteers have to work within the communities at need.  Take the knowledge and opportunities to the people who need it most.

$10 million could support as many as 10,000 volunteers, each working to improve literacy, eradicate the high school drop-out rate among inner-city students, engage communities in discussions about advocacy or career exploration, help families identify financial aid opportunities for first generation college students, or lead K-12 students in fun and informative after-school activities in math or science.

The program could support volunteers in after-school, weekend, and summer programs in neighborhoods such as Wellston, Cherokee, and North St. Louis. Such a co-mingling of industry professionals, college students, educators and people from oft-overlooked St. Louis communities could dissolve some of the cliquish pre-dispositions this city is known to have.  Plus, this program could create meaningful mentoring and personal relationships among people from different communities.

I still believe in this idea.  For me and for the millions of others who desperately need the economic relief in this economy.  Plus, I believe in this idea as a viable and achievable way to bring more science and tech outreach to children and families – in urban and rural areas – who seem be the most under served.  Right now, I’m just wishing because to do this would require political and economic will.  But I’ve discovered a shimmer of hope.

Student loan processors finally caught up with me after dodging them for nearly 2 years While doing research to tackle my student loans, I visited the FAFSA website: StudentAid.ed. gov you can search and read about everything related to student aid and repayment.  And I cam across this:

Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program

If you work in public service (non profit, government & higher ed sounds like it counts, too) then you can qualify to have your Direct Student loans dismissed after 10 years (or 120 payments) of work in public service.
Qualifying employment is any employment with a federal, state, or local government agency, entity, or organization or a non-profit organization that has been designated as tax-exempt by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code (IRC). The type or nature of employment with the organization does not matter for PSLF purposes. Additionally, the type of services that these public service organizations provide does not matter for PSLF purposes.

You have to be actively working in public service & making qualified payments at the same time, so no back calculating.

The other good news is that there are Income Based Repayment Options.
There are a few options to get your payments adjusted according to your adjusted gross income, so as to bring your monthly payments down.  This can be used in combination with the Public Service program.

This news was too good not the share. Either of both sound perfect. Hey, if we can’t serve our debt off completely, at least the service we do – in academia or for the government or in non-profit – can count to trim how long we’re on the hook.  I imagine this could really make a difference to post-docs and junior faculty who might be feeling the pinch.  (Right now they are gobbling up nearly half of my take home pay. But that’s because of being in default. I declared this the year to get my affairs in order and that’s what I’m doing now. (However, if anyone wants to contribute to my student loan payment piggy bank, I won’t say no. Thank you).

Happy debt reduction!

It’s the best Diversity in Science Carnival I’ve read yet. Go read it now. Like, now!  Diversity in Science Carnival #14: Women’s History Month–Exploring the role of women in the STEM enterprise

Please be sure to leave comments at that site and visit each of the posts and leave comments as well.

And we hope more of you would join us April Diversity in Science Carnival, hosted by the incomparable @Scicurious at Neurotic Psychology, tackling the topic – Confronting the Imposter Syndrome. This topic promises to resonate for many.  We look forward to having your join us!

After so many visits, one cop eventually said he’d leave a note with dispatch so that they would stop responding to calls about me.

LeafWarbler asked if I was wearing a hoodie (when the cops arrived while I was doing research); and I laughed because, yeah, I was.

Me at my field site wearing a hoodie

Being stopped or suddenly surrounded by authorities isn’t a new thing to many researchers.  However, researchers of color who do research in the field (also outdoors men and women) have these kinds of stories to share, often.  We laugh about it, but it’s quite sad that something about ‘us’ – hoodie or not, evokes such fear and suspicion.

Is it really the hoodie, like Geraldo Rivera suggests?

I donned my hoodie for Trayvon Martin.  Like so many other people I couldn’t believe how the law was interpreted and how George Zimmerman was allowed to walk away from killing this young man without so much as a Grand Jury trial.  And yes, it felt personal and real and quite possible for me.

Me and my hoodie wearing younger brother

This is my younger brother, known as the “One Boy”, because he’s my mother’s (and father’s) only son.  My parents love all of us, but my brother evokes a hard to explain protection from them and from me and my sisters as well.  Perhaps it’s because he’s the youngest.  Perhaps it’s because we all worry about trouble finding him, getting hurt or getting that call that breaks hearts.   It’s a fear that is all to real for most people I know from my Memphis neighborhood. I’ll admit I prefer him when he looks like this:all cleaned up. But something about his size, his booming voice, dark brown skin, and long locks while wearing a hoodie (like above) evoke suspicion in others, especially authority figures.  A year and a half ago, he and my cousin were approaching my sister’s front door when the cops began questioning without cause.  They were looking for someone who stayed next door to her, but decided they looked suspicious enough and they were taken into custody immediately.  The charge: “Standing in the street”.  No kidding, I can’t make this up.  I know my brother’s dress didn’t help convince them that he wasn’t a gang member. (He was wearing a red hoodie – his high school colors, in a known Blood neighborhood).  But I also know that city cops are known to harass and abuse young men for no real cause.  I beat the police to the police station which was only 4 blocks away and demanded to see my brother and cousin.  They weren’t there. In fact, the dispatcher had no record of any young men being picked up in the last 30 minutes.  I quickly whipped out my ‘Dr title ‘and called my ACLU lawyer friend.

Within moments, my brother and cousin were returned to my sister’s house, unharmed.  Maybe things turned out fine without my intervention; but the sad fact is, this is the life of many young men – black, brown, even white.  Something about a certain style of dress and appearance evoke suspicion in some people. And everyday, poor (inner-city) people are abused or killed by cops and vigilantes like George Zimmerman.

I’m not sure of the psychology of this madness, but Melanie Tannenbaum addresses some of these demons with her Guest Blog post Trayvon Martin’s Psychological Killer: Why We See Guns That Aren’t There.

But to me, the banter around the topic really calls to mind this notion of Brown Faces in White Places.  Dr. Caroyn Finney wrote her dissertation on African-Americans and the great outdoors which included how people of color often have negative experiences because of the reactions of authorities or other visitors.  She became aware of this notion of place as a child. She grew up  on a 13-acre estate in a wealthy white neighborhood of Mamaroneck, N.Y., where her parents worked, taking care of the grounds and house.

It was, she recalls, “a beautiful piece of property,” with flower and vegetable gardens, a lake, and a variety of fruit trees. The owners, who were there only on weekends and holidays, lived in “what I call the big house.”
“I remember being 9, and walking home from school,” she says. “There were always police patrolling the neighborhood, and one day there was a new policeman on patrol. When he saw me walking home he asked, ‘Where are you going?’ And I said, ‘Oh, around the corner,’ and I gave him the address. And he said, ‘Do you work there?’”
Even in the recounting, Finney is incredulous. “I’m 9,” she repeats. “I said, ‘No, I live there.’ And so, reflecting back, I was completely out of place.”

And I imagine that is what is happening with so many of us who do science – in the field or industry – or work in academia.  Somehow, no one was expecting to see this face – this brown face or young face or female face or male face or unkempt face or this hoodie-clad face, whatever it may be.  Oftentimes, persons of authority and persons of privilege (usually one in the same) have no problem descending upon us, questioning our presence in this place. Asking, nay, demanding that we justify our presence in a place. Behave in an acquiescent manner while we are being held up and distracted from our jobs or simply minding our law-abiding business, lest we be arrested or harmed.  And until the possibility that any kind of face could be the one doing science or teaching class or leading a project or walking down the street in a gated-community with Skittles and an Ice Tea, then we’re still likely to have conversations like these in the future.

Seeing a role model that resembled me, meant a lot to me.  I think it means a lot to most young people. I especially love how, this physician-turned-astronaut was rocking a super chick natural in her official NASA photos.  Fierce!

Dr. Jemison even appeared on Star Trek: The Next Generation. How awesome is that?

I had a rare chance to hear her speak (and later meet her) in person. It was a most spectacular day for me.

Originally posted as Making Science Make Sense with Dr. Mae Jemison at Urban Science Adventures! ©.

On Wednesday, September 8, 2010, THE Dr. Mae Jemison spoke a room of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) educators and advocates at the state of Missouri STEM Summit presented by the Department of Elementary & Secondary Education.

As I listened to her keynote talk: “Diversity in STEM: The New American Imperative”, I fought hard, very hard, to control myself.  I was not only super excited about seeing her in person, but was so moved by her words.  She discussed shy science literacy matters for everyone, EVERYONE, and why bringing more women and under-represented minorities into STEM career tracks is critical to our nation’s success.  As she put it, training ALL of our students in STEM prepares them to take jobs in innovation; or alternatively for those that do not wish to become scientists or engineers, we want them to be ready to understand and use new technologies and make decisions about science and tech policy or personal matters is important.

I really felt like she was reading my mind and sharing those thoughts with the world, especially when she remarked, “What was best about my education in science is that it gave me the ability to think critically and be flexible.”  That’s the heart of why science literacy matters.  It prepares individuals to make the best decisions possible for themselves and their families.

She then got to the heart of the talk for this audience of formal and informal STEM educators and advocates – How STEM is taught and learned. I sat down in front directly facing Dr. Jemison, meeting her eye every time she look up.  And her words rang so true to me that the remainder of this post I’m using first person voice because everything she was saying, I have said, and I feel as passionately as she. And if you can imagine, I was bursting inside ready to stand up and testify; but vigorous head nodding was all I allowed myself to do in that professional setting.

Point #1 – Kids love science. They have this innate curiosity to learn about the word, to tinker, to figure things out.  The rote memorization of fact has bored the love of science and engineering out of most kids. “We have got to figure out how to use the prodigious construct for learning and keep them engaged in science past the exploratory/curiosity in science.  Rote memorization is not the way to get to improved STEM access to all students. Hands-on inquiry-based learning is a fancy name for kids doing science.”  Science is a VERB, it’s what I do.  (That last sentence is me).

Point #2 – STEM cuts across all fields. Reading,writing, arithmetic. Students learn all kinds of subject matter via science and science can be used to reinforce other subject matters.  It is an applied way to utilize these skills.  For examples, students read about experiments, take measurements, and summarize and present results.

Point #3. Everyone should be on board to improve STEM access and literacy.  Industry is very is important but we should run schools like businesses, but because industry gives us the feedback we need to help students prepare for these great careers in STEM.

Point #4 - Just putting a kid in front a computer is NOT science literacy. “Giving a child a chance to grow a potato in a cup is better science education than all of that fancy technology equipment!!” Preach, preach it.

Point #5 – What’s best for all students to do well in science that they have to have Exposure, Experiences, and Expectation – whether they become professional scientists/engineers or not. (And by now I was ready to jump up and shout).  A majority of career opportunities in science and engineering do NOT require a 4 year degree. As adults, we have got to do better job as guidance counselors or as parents or mentors.  We’ve got to help them know what their options are and make sure they are adequately prepared for them.

Exposure: Students must exposed to what scientists and engineers do.  This helps them know the variety of career possibilities available to them.

Experiences: One really needs some hands-on experiences to gain confidence in a subject. Try it out, then you’ll know if you’re good at it, want to do it, etc.  And confidence aligns with better performance in a subject.  Don’t think so? But some studies have found that girls do as well or better than boys in math & science until the end of high school.  By then they are given the message that aren’t as good as boys in this subject and coincidentally, they begin to perform poorly. For some reason, girls are given messages that make them feel less confident in their abilities in science and engineering, even when they do very well in these subjects.  Experience is the key to build confidence and better performance in STEM for all students.

Expectation: Expectation is predictive. Youth & Adults live up or down expectations. Pay attention to the words you say and the tone you set before all children, teens and adults.  Think back to the example of girls and math.

At the end of her talk, I was the great science stalker that I am.  I managed to get not only a picture with her (even as her handler was trying to shuttle her out), but I hugged her, too.  I had to, I just had to.  I was ready to tackle the handler.  I was like, “Lady, do you not know how momentous this moment is for me right now?  I’m  seeing one of my role models – in the flesh, before my eyes. I’m ready to body-check for the chance to meet this woman!”  But it was all good.  Both Dr. Jemison and her handler were really sweet and accommodating and allowed some very quick group pictures before whisking her away to catch a flight out of Kansas City.

Dr. Jemison talking with a high school student from Kansas City. The young lady was sharing her interest in science.

My picture with Dr. Jemison, along with the outreach staff at St. Louis Science Center

Dr. Jemison is involved with science outreach and STEM diversity through two great programs: International Science Camp – The Earth We Share and Making Science Make Sense. Check them both out for more information.

I look back and the truth is…. I do call attention to myself.  Not on purpose mind you.  I mean I do stand out.  My entire academic career felt like this song in playing on continuous loop.

I’m different. I’m either the female, the Black person or Colored Girl, or the one with the Big Afro, or the one from the City or something that reaffirms that science doesn’t include very many women, people of color or women of color.

However, I have also got to admit that my personality causes me to stand out too. Even as a very young child, say 4 years of age, I would give sassy responses to children and adults alike.  I wasn’t meaning to be sassy. I was just being matter-of-fact. “The sky is blue. It’s hot. I’m hungry. That’s not what you said. That’s a stupid idea.” I have never had the patience to tolerate hypocrisy, injustice, or dishonesty from anyone. NO ONE, especially authority figures.  But coming of age in the 1980′s meant adults were keen and quick to discipline children corporeally.  So, I became quite good at the mumble and transparent facial expressions.  I’m also loud.  And this has always nagged me.  Even now in my adulthood, being loud is especially contentious for Black Women as it is seen as unprofessional and playing to stereotypical expectations of inner city brown girls. The thing is, I’m usually not aware of the volume of my voice or laugh.  I’m not straining my voice. My throat isn’t exhausted. I’m speaking at a comfortable level.  When ambient noise rises, my volume increases to accommodate like everyone else.  When I’m happy or excited, my volume increases like everyone else.  When I whisper (deliberately speaking in a hushed tone), people clear across the room hear me. Always have.  I learned then that my voice carries.  (It made me natural for theatre and drama.)  I just don’t have an inside voice and folks always seem to notice me and say as much.

Presently, I a post-doc at really great university working on a project I am super excited about.  However, my adjustment to this town and specifically my department has been slow going (see my post from January 10, 2012 On Being Conspicuously Invisible).  I’m the lone post-doc in a department with not much of a post-doc tradition and I think I’m also discovering that it doesn’t have much a tradition in diversity either.  That’s neither good nor bad. But it can be lonely and frustrating.

I am quite use to interacting with white people. As blunt as that may sound, the truth is, knowing how and being comfortable interacting with lots of different types of people is a valuable and way under-rated skill in STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics), higher education, and academia in general.  But what frustrates me is that this skill set is mostly one-sided.  In order for individuals from under-represented groups (of any definition) to become successful we have master interacting with students, faculty and leaders from the dominant group.  Vice-versa is not required.

The result is a minority member attempting to become apart of a new organization and the existing members, if not well trained in inclusiveness, carry on passively with their daily lives.  They aren’t doing anything negative. However, the result is that the minority member is left feeling lonely and excluded from networking and social opportunities.

What’s great about being a member of the majority? It’s that awesome feeling of freedom in being able to blend in and be anonymous.  It is a mental vacation to not be in the ‘on’ mode all of the time.  It means that every little thing you do isn’t magnified and cataloged and remembered (and potentially held against you and every other member of your minority group).  It’s this blissful feeling of inclusion that doesn’t call to doubt your ability to be intelligent, as opposed to clever, or that gives you credit for speaking well when you were simply speaking in complete sentences like the rest of your peers.

It means I can be me – loud, brilliant, funny, caring, insightful, honest – and not have to stomach others crude looks, looks of surprise or turn every interaction into a ‘cultural learning moment’.  Or worry that some old school white d00d will think less of me professionally because I don’t make him feel more comfortable whenever I’m in his presence.

I hate feeling like this – like being me is somehow a hindrance to my career.  The first time I felt this way was during the pursuit of my Masters degree. And I got a pep talk from the most unexpected person.  The former Department Chair, an older white d00d – quite the Southern gentleman he was, pull me aside and told me how the light from my eyes was dimmed. He then told me that being effervescent was my gift to science and that I should never lose it or let anyone make me feel like I am a less authentic scientist because of my chipper personality.

And when I feel the blues come on, I think back to his encouraging comments.  I have experienced many professional opportunities where I can be ‘me’ and feel relaxed and can turn the code switches off.  And I rejoice in knowing that I have been blessed and highly favored in all of my pursuits.

I realize that my path to science wasn’t preset.  I arrived here by back alleys and gravel roads. I gained access to the main highway and navigated a course using tools and skills I acquired from many different mentors.  And when ever some good ole boy reminds me of how different I am, I smile and nod and thank him.  And think to myself: “Did you really think I came to follow in your footsteps?”

I haven’t gone through all of this, living simultaneously in multiple-cultures and breaking barriers only to maintain the status quo. Not a chance.

The Conference, or rather UNConference will be a participant-driven meeting with us creating the agenda once all of us are together.  With this being the very first conference of its kind — to specifically focus on science outreach and public engagement in science from a variety of perspectives — the roster of participants,  65 in all, come from education, academia, industry, as well as hobbyist and science communicators of every sort.  This much is for certain: we’ll focus on three major themes:

1) Building a community of public science engagers,

2) Defining the overarching issues in public science engagement, and

3) How to measure the impact of public science engagement locally, regionally, and nationally.

The goals of the meeting are to

• strengthen and expand the COPUS network by creating new connections among attendees during and after the meeting;
• create an architecture of engagement for future science convenings that cross domains of science outreach (informal, formal, academic, and corporate) that do not normally interact, but need to;
• provide direction for future activities of the COPUS community by evaluating what is currently being done, identifying new needs, and building upon ongoing successes; and
• provide a new forum and recognition for those conducting public outreach.

If this kind of conference appeals to you, then please don’t fret. COPUS is a national organization and our first commitment is building a stable network of like-minded individuals, institutions, and groups.  You (and your organization) can join COPUS right now. No charge.  Once you’re registered you can locate and connect with others who are nearby OR share similar outreach interests anywhere in the US.

And we would love to have you join in on the conference and the conversations we’ll be fostering at the Unconference.  Here is the link to the COPUS Unconference Wiki. You can also follow COPUS on Twitter – @COPUScore Once you’ve joined the COPUS network, send them a tweet and tag it with the hashtag #COPUS.  And whenever you want to share anythings about public engagement or science outreach, please use the hashtag #sci4all – for anything related to public engagements/outreach of science.  You can also join the COPUS Facebook Group.

You know I’ll be live-tweeting, so feel free to share your questions and comment with me on Twitter or here.

Cheers!
DNLee
demystifying nature, letting everyone experience

After my run-down of how this story gained legs and a call to Black Media outlets to support authentic science journalism, I was pleasantly contacted by Ms. Thandi Chimurenga.  She is a freelance journalist in Los Angeles, who contributes to The Cyberground Railroad: Black Los Angeles’ News and Views Source, and as I came to learn, she is THE reporter who sparked this firestorm.

I just came across your article in the Scientific American and I must say, it was very exciting to see you stating the need for authentic science journalism in the Black media!

I decided to contact you because I believe, in my most humble of opinions, that all of this began with my story which was originally published on January 31st, 2012, in the San Francisco Bay View Newspaper called “Skin Deep in More Ways Than One”.

I was contacted the very next morning by Environmental Health News who told me it was on the front page of their website and that persons interested in environmental health, etc., would see it and it would get major play.

The story was funded through a fellowship with New America Media (Environmental Health Journalism Fellowship) and New America Media placed it on their website after the SFBayView did, under the title of “How Toxic is Black Hair Care” on February 2nd, 2012.

… if you check either article on the SFBayView.com website or the New America Media website – with only slight editing changes between the two – you will see where I attempted to very carefully, yet very deliberately, use phrases such as ” increases the risk of,” and “more likely to,” and “Researchers have also posited that a link exists  …

She explained to me that Ms. Karen Stevenson, a public relations consultant for the Environmental Justice and Health Alliance helped spread the coverage of the story.  As she told me in a telephone conversation we had today, that she read the story at the Environmental Health News website (a subscription is needed to see the original piece). She then contacted Ms. Chimurenga for permission to share this story with her contacts that included individuals affiliated with the National Medical Association, Centers for Disease Control, the National Association of Black Journalists.  The story made it the virtual desk of Ms. Stephanie Robinson Commentary, who provides commentary to the Tom Joyner Morning Show.  On Thursday, February 16, 2012, she introduced millions of listeners to this study. Link to podcast of the segment, (requires downloading Silverlight in order to hear).

I suspected that the popular and influential radio program was key to this story getting out.  However, until this communication with Ms. Chimurenga, it looks more likely that his broadcast preceded the Houston Fox News story Hair Today, Tumors Tomorrow?

In addition to the stories linked above, Ms. Chimurenga’s version of the story spread quite far.

‘Skin Deep’ in more ways than one at Cancer Schmancer Movement on Tuesday, January 31, 2012.

‘Skin Deep’ In More Ways Than One (Part one of two) and ‘Skin Deep’ In More Ways Than One (Part two of two) both at Cyber Ground Railroad On Thursday, February 2, 2012.

How Toxic is Black Hair Care? at La Beez: Hive for Hyperlocal Ethnic News on Monday February 6, 2012.

How toxic is Black hair care? At The Final Call on Wednesday, February 8, 2012.

How toxic is Black hair care? at Insight News on Wednesday, February 8, 2012.

‘Skin Deep’ in more ways than one at the Louisiana Weekly (newspaper), week of February 6 -12, 2012.

Campaign for Safe Cosmetics mentions Ms. Chimurenga’s story in the SFBay sometime by February 17, 2012, when comments on this post appeared.

All of these stories gave proper credit to Ms. Chimurenga for writing the story, with most providing her a byline in their papers with links back to the SFBay View and New American Media websites as source contributors.  I’m really disappointed that the Tom Joyner Morning Show, Fox News Houston, and the websites I listed in my previous post did not acknowledge her contribution.  They cut some corners in their coverage of this story, not only cutting her out, but also in the facts they presented.  They really moshed it all up.

Ms. Chimurenga acknowledges that she tried very hard to make no declarative statements in her original article.  I read her article and I think she covered this story very well. She didn’t mis-quote or present over-simplified results from the studies or conflate the results of the different research studies mentioned in her story. Which coincidentally were the same 3 papers I critiqued in my first post on this topic.

Ms. Chimurenga confessed,

I’ve been sitting over here sweating, hoping you weren’t going to put my writing on blast the way you did them other folks …

To which I responded,

What? I would never…wait, yes. Yes, I would! LOL

All in all, I found Ms. Chimurenga’s coverage of this story to be very well done; however, my critiques of the studies still stand.  I don’t think the authors present enough compelling evidence to suggest that black hair care products or the chemicals within them are to blame for fibroids or early onset of puberty.  I also have to say that the San Francisco Bay is Black Newspaper, and they did exactly what I’ve been asking Black Media to do – present relevant science stories to their readers.  But this paper does not have a dedicated science or health news reporter. (I still hope to change that).  My goal is to encourage more science news (health & environmental news included) all of the time, not just when something potentially scary happens.

This story was born out of Ms. Chimurenga’s personal interests in Environmental Justice and personal knowledge of the Black Women for Wellness project, which she mentions in her story. When she received a New America Media Fellowship on Health & Environmental Heath, she decided to pursue this line of inquiry.  New America Media Fellowship Program on Health and Environmental Health for Ethnic Media Journalism supports ethnic media journalists to research and write at least one in-depth story, documenting the human impact of a health care issue, or policy issue, or the impact of environmental toxins on human health.

I am so glad she reached out to me. It certainly answers a question that was nagging me. “How did all of this start?”

And now it all makes perfect sense.  I believe all good inquiries, whether scientific or journalistic, start from an authentic place, with people who care about the questions being answered, who live in the situations where they notice a problem in the first place.  And that’s exactly how it was for her.  This interested topic was on her radar already.

Environmental Justice (EJ) is definitely a relevant issue and presents a perfect framework for introducing more science-related news into minority-serving media outlets, but alas it doesn’t seem to happen unless it’s an alarming story. African-American communities seem to be the slowest to adopt environmentally responsible behaviors like recycling or becoming more critical consumers of household, hygiene or cosmetics products. Which is why the EJHA is trying to get more people discussing these types of issues via their Chemical Policy Statement.

I hope to continue to engage the Minority Media and Journalism communities on this and other science-related topics.  If you have any thing to share or add, or able to facilitate bridge-building opportunities in this area, then I would very much like to hear from you.

Diversity in Science Carnival #13: Black History Month–Celebrating Our Future

Be sure to visit each page and leave a comment.  Just a little note to let each author know that you appreciate his/her effort.

But we’re not done.  The next carnival celebrating Women’s History Month will be hosted at Double X Science.   March is Women’s History Month and Diversity in Science Carnival #14 will explore the role of women in the enterprise of STEM. Emily Willingham, co-founder of the blog community will serve as editor.  Here is the link to learn more about the Diversity in Science Carnival.  Deadline to submit your post is March 25th.

There are  so many Memes and programs throughout the month, especially for International Women’s Day.  I recommend contributing to one of the memes and sharing your link with the carnival.

American Association of University Women (AAUW) is asking everyone to sound off about women in higher education who have inspired you.  They have a very simple survey form. Just give them the name of a woman in hisherstory who has influenced you.

Science Club for Girls is hosting Letter to My Young Self, a project encouraging women in science, engineering, technology and mathematics (STEM), who are in different stages of their careers, to share with their “young selves” words of encouragement, glimpses into the future and wisdom that can only be gleaned from hindsight. It’s an amazing opportunity to reflect on your own journey to science and pave the way for others.

I also recommend checking out STEMinist – Voices of women in science, tech, engineering and math and STEM4Girls by Qeyno Labs. Great resources for female scientists and engineers of all ages and at every level.

But as I followed the links about this story, some red flags began to wave, and I’m not talking about the science.  I addressed all of those critiques in my previous post.  No, I realized that the news sources I visited, first The Root and BET, then links to a number of blogs and online magazines were eerily familiar.  They sounded similar, using the exact same wording.  They all made the same mistakes in coverage.

So, I began to wonder, how did all of this get started.

Here is what I found.

On Thursday, February 16, 2012 a local Fox News affiliate in Houston, Texas aired this story: Hair Today, Tumors Tomorrow? By all accounts and Google searching this is where it all started.

The news program did a follow-up the next day: Study Causes Hair Scare about Tumors Fox News Houston, Texas February 17, 2012.

Soon, the Internet sites geared to African-American Women were all over this story. And rightly so. This is a topic that is very relevant to its readership.

A very popular natural hair blog, Black Girl With Long Hair introduced the story Relaxers Linked to Uterine Fibroid Tumors? On Monday, February 20, 2012.  This post links directly back to Houston FOX News story.

On Tuesday, February 21, two powerhouse online magazines for Black Women picked up the story, at almost the same time.

Clutch Magazine – an African American women magazine and the new face of the urban “it” girl ran this story: Study: Relaxers Linked to Uterine Fibroids and Early Puberty.

Madame Noire – the Black women’s lifestyle guide for the latest in black hair care, relationship advice, fashion trends, black entertainment news and parenting tips ran this:

Perms Linked to Uterine Fibroid Tumors and Early Puberty.

It seems the news story out of Houston is what got all of this started; but it was the sharing of the story on the two online magazines that helped it reach a nationwide audience.  However, all three major sources, Fox News, Clutch Magazine, and Madame Noire reported inaccurate information about the study.  They conflated the methods and results of two separate studies: one study by Wise et al. studied hair relaxer use and possible risk of uterine fibroids, another study by James-Todd et al. studied black hair care products and early onset of puberty.  Both studies focused on African-American women. However, it does not appear that the two lines of research were connected nor were the two research teams collaborating.   This is important, because it signals a lack of due diligence on the part of the journalists and editors/producers at each of this organizations.

At this point I could more-or-less determine if subsequent coverage was derived from the Fox News coverage or the Clutch/Madame Noire coverage.  In fact, as I was reading blog posts and articles, I started to notice the same phrases and repeats of mistakes.  At first I thought, perhaps people were re-stating phrases from a press release. However, the Boston University Public Relations website reveals no evidence of a press release of the Wise et. al research.

It was beginning to look like a lot of copying and pasting with no one acknowledging the original source(s).

The widely referenced New Study Links Relaxers To Fibroids at BlackDoctor.org on Wednesday, February 22, 2012, looked to be a nearly perfect scraping of the Madame Noire piece.  The only changes were omitting the name of the beautician mentioned in the original piece and the addition of Fibroid Facts at the end.

Your Black World.net – a news aggregating blog site relayed the BlackDoctor.org piece, page 1 word-for word on February 22, 2012. The article even stops mid-sentence: Study Links Hair Relaxers To Fibroid Tumors and Early Puberty In African American Females.

That same day, The Intersection of Madness & Reality author published: STUDY: Hair Relaxers Linked to Fibroids in African American Women. This post linked back to the BlackDoctor.org piece and the author tells us that he first heard of the perms linked to fibroids story on the Tom Joyner Morning Show a week before.  This is the first time anyone references a national radio program spreading this story and provides a rough idea of when it was shared. The Tom Joyner Morning Show is affiliated with Black America Web.com and they posted their own article on Friday, February 24, 2012. Study Finds Link Between Tumors and Perms.  I know that Tom Joyner is based out of Texas and I suspect he may have gotten wind of the FOX news story; the piece at the webiste links back to the Fox Houston news coverage.  But what’s especially alarming about this report is how poorly they covered this new item.

But now an even more disturbing report has entered the scene via a study conducted by Boston University, which proves that relaxers used to straighten black hair have a proven link to the fibrous tumors that disproportionately affect black women.

The research team proved nothing and they make no such claim.  This was bad reporting or an egregious error on the part of the writer at this site.  I recognize the very strong influence of syndicated radio programs for sharing important news with very large audiences.  Programs like the Tom Joyner Morning Show and the Michael Baisden Show draw huge urban markets and are powerful media brokers.  However, I’ve also been very disappointed with them for spreading misinformation about science and health news specifically.

African-Americans seem to be one of the most disconnected audiences from science, especially if you use the amount of science-related coverage in black media outlets as a gauge.  To me, it’s no real surprise that we are so under-served and that the gaps in achievement in science, as well as the participation in STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) careers are so great.  Sadly, as much our leaders exclaim the importance of education, however, our collective exercise of scientific literacy has been lacking.  This is one such instance.

Additional coverage included:

New Study Links Relaxers To Fibroids by African Health Magazine on Thursday, February 23, 2012.  This was another BlackDoctor.org based piece

New Study Links Relaxers To Fibroids at BET on Thursday, February 23, 2012 was actually provided to BET by BlackDoctor.org.

Study: Perms Linked to Fibroids at The Root February 28, 2012.  They got the story from BET, which they directly link to in the piece. This is where I started my journey down the rabbit hole.

Hair Relaxers and Fibroids My Fox Philly did a segment on their local news on Wednesday, February 29, 2012.

Can Hair Relaxers Cause Uterine Fibroids? appeared on Essence.com Friday, March 2, 2012.  This piece looks to be a modified version of the piece by BlackDoctor.org or Madame Noire.

There were many journalistic flaws:

1. A majority of the pieces, at news sites and at blogs were exact duplicates of each other.  Visit each of the links provided or scroll through the screen shots of the websites, here.

2. There was little or no research. Who investigated this story? It seems quite obvious to me that no one contacted the researchers, the journals, or the press offices from either of the institutions mentioned.  There were no quotes or explanations of the study(ies) in the short write-ups.  Moreover, mashing the two research studies together was a major oversight.

It was also clear that no one bothered to read the original research articles.   Conclusions were poorly explained and over-simplified results were shared.  I know this is a sore spot that comes up often between scientists and journalists.  Scientists routinely complain of journalists sensationalizing the results or getting the science wrong.  But this infraction was worse.  It was so apparent that this wasn’t a journalist innocently misunderstanding complex science.  No, this was like a game of telephone gone badly – and no one was even on the telephone.  One source shared the story and one-by-one additional (online) media programs picked up the story and added a little literary flare – framing the issue as a Natural Hair vs. Chemical Hair discussion – to draw in black female readers; and the fire spread.

Remarkably, I found the best journalism around this piece at Curly Nikki  – a natural hair blog – Hair Relaxers and Fibroids?- An Update from Dr. Wise on Tuesday, February 22, 2012. From what I can tell, this article was the ONLY site that actually caught up with the researcher to inquire about the study.  I was glad to see that the lead author clarified points of the coverage of the study, most immediately that this study did not find an early puberty onset in girls using chemical relaxers.  It also included a break down of the ‘science’ of the original study. Curly Nikki had her husband read the articles and relay his opinions and pros and cons of the original study.

For me, this was beautiful confirmation that good science news can be shared through a variety of mediums. I’m really thinking of that Science writing for Women’s Magazines harder, now.  But I am sad that her version of the story didn’t get picked up.

But my big take home message is that Black Media outlets have got to do better.  This recent news coverage about chemical relaxers and uterine fibroids in African-American women presents a learning opportunity to all of us – producers and consumers of news.  It time for media producers and distributors to provide authentic science journalism in our news outlets.  It’s time consumers – TV, radio, print, and online – to demand more high quality informative news, not just shock and awe coverage.  Our health is serious business and not the place to provide lazy copy, pasted, and unconfirmed news bits.

It is past time for our old guard and new guard media organizations to create meaningful, relevant news content related to health, environment, technology, and education. Black Media it’s time for you host professional science journalists in your organizations.

Feminsiting Friday is a series of posts dissecting hip-hop and pop culture for its sexist influences and/or portrayals on women and girls. Offering insight as an evolutionary biologist, I promise to be analytical, scathing, and downright snarky.  I began the series at my previous blog, SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic on the Southern Fried Science Network.

I still have some things to get off of my chest.

In a previous post about EPC (Extra-pair copulations) stirred up some conversations about serial monogamy in real life. Serial monogamy is actually very common among people, especially in our modern society. It goes a little somethng like this:

Boy and girl meet. They flirt. The date and decide they like each other. They decide to be a couple. They break-up. Repeat.

Let’s say you want to marry someone who’s right for you and by a certain period of time in your life. Playing by the serial monogamy rules you would date one person at time, give each a relationship serious go – say a year, then break up for what ever reason, take the time to learn and heal, and do it again. Even if you meet someone who may seem to be a better fit, you either have to let them them pass or end your existing relationship to find out more information. If you were to play the field you could date as many individuals as you like, for as long as you like. Honesty is encouraged, of course. For either strategy, you still have to be mindful of other people’s feelings (and STDs). Dating is not a consequence-free endeavor.

The point I’m making is that in life there are no guarantees that you will meet the right person in a certain amount of time. Heck, there’s no guarantee you’ll meet the right person, ever, but there is hope. And in an effort to hedge the odds in your favor, why wouldn’t you date as many great people as possible? Yet, more often than not young women tend to date serially, and young men do not.  I’m a rather vocal objector to these dating and relationship customs.  And frankly, I find the social support of serial monogamy sexist.  Here are my reasons why.

1. It’s a way to moralize feminine sexual behavior. A woman who can boast no or few lovers is better regarded than a woman who can boast many lovers. Moreover, serial monogamy allows one to qualify the number of partners by attaching those lovers to a relationship. It’s a way to clarify her reputation. Simultaneously, boys and men are encouraged to play the field, sow their oats, and get as many notches on their belt as possible. Hip-hip idolizes male committmentphobia and villifies women for comparable behavior.

(NSFW)

NO where is this more enforced than the many ritual of Bachelor night. Grooms are publicly encouraged to have a last rut with the most provocative women they can be collectively procured by their buddies, many of whom are also married.

2. It’s a very successful way for a man to lock in a sexual partner. Entering a monogamous relationship is a sure way to secure a sexual partner is available to you. Particularly, if you are a manipulative man, or not very attractive, or even lazy, then getting booed up is your best bet to secure a woman.  But remember, there is nothing that prevents either from engaging in EPCs or extra-pair copulations, also called cheating. Hip hop culture routinely encourages this behavior with boys and men: advice to men for managing your wifey or mainchick, sidechick, and/or jumpoff. Socially, men are allowed to have their cake and eat it, too.

And I’ll own up t my own sexist prejudices on this.  Most of the men I have met who seem to be interested in getting into a relationship very quickly or settling down at a very young age just struck me as sub-par on some level. Okay, there are some good guys out there who are gentlemen and want to get married, have a family and ‘do it honest’.  But for those men who had no ‘moral clauses’ they just came off as lame or needy.

My thought is, if it’s good for the goose….

We can’t simultaneously teach boys and girls different lessons about dating and sex. We can’t continue to set different expectations for men and women sexually and then wonder why we can’t have healthy adult relationships with each other. The playing field should be leveled. Women should enjoy dating and flirting as much as men and not feel guilty about it or not be given a hard time if she hasn’t settled down ‘by a certain time’.

I mean if you really want to get married to the right person by a certain time, then it really is better to date many people at a time. Dating only one person at a time (for an extended period of time) prevents you from meeting the one in a timely manner. You look up and you’re 25. You’re complaining about running out of time and realize you’ve only dated a handful of people. It’s then that you see the reality and your dates become high-powered job interviews. Not a good look.

You want someone to put a ring on it, then my advice is to field many candidates.

Which brings me to my ultimate reason why I think serial monogamy does women a disservice.  It makes women into these pitiable creatures if we’re still unmarried by a certain age. I really, really hate it when someone asks why a beautiful woman, aged 35+, isn’t married. I hate it more when those same women whine about not being married. I’m so damn tired of these trite conversations about single professional black women or hear another cocktail party rehashing of Steve Harvey’s commentary about Smart Professional Black Women being single I’m gonna scream.

See even in the questions and media coverage, the conversation is focused on what’s wrong with women. Where is the outcry for unmarried black men? There isn’t any. That’s because the whole conversation is sexist.

photo by Alecia Hoyt Photography

I sport an afro or natural hair, but I use to have a perm.  About a year ago, I shared my hair journey with Afrobella at Essence. com: Natural Hair Diary: Danielle N. Lee, Scientist.   When I was younger, I sat between my mother/older cousin/aunt/grandmother’s legs with jar of grease, cup of water, and tin of barrettes at the ready.  Each morning I braced myself for the rough brushing, parting, plaiting, and smoothing down of edges with blue or green grease.  By junior high school I was a big girl and I could wear my hair down.  Each week I got my hair washed and then I held on tightly to my ears and held my head down obediently as my ‘kitchen ‘was attended to – a press and curl.  For the rest of the week I was in charge of rolling, combing, and oiling my scalp each day.  By high school and college, I was getting chemical relaxers or perms.  As we – Black females – transition from elementary to junior high or middle school and then to high school, our hair styles change, as does the hair rituals and regiments.  Relaxers seem to be a rite of passage for Black females.  It was something that mature, often professional women did.  The box recommends touch-ups every 6-8 weeks. I hated getting relaxers so much that I would stretch it out 3-4 months.  Finally, one day 13 years ago instead of getting a touch up, I had my beautician cut all of the chemically processed hair off.  I was left with 2-3 inches of new growth or virgin hair.

I was eleven when I got my very first relaxer.  That was also the age I was when I got my first period.  But little more than a year before either of these landmarks I was having my first traumatic ‘lady problems’ episode.  I had spent two days bending over, clutching my right side, and  crying in pain.  It was when I starting vomiting that my mother took me to the pediatrician.  I tried my best to stretch out on the table as Dr. Dancy pressed on my lower abdomen. I screamed in pain.  Since I hadn’t had my first cycle yet, and I wasn’t wearing a training bra, they all feared appendicitis.  My mother nearly died when she was 12 years from a ruptured appendix.  I saw the fear in her eyes when the doctor said, take her to the hospital, now!

I spent 4 days in the hospital. I was ultra-sounded, X-rayed, and palpated in every imaginable matter.  They quickly eliminated appendicitis, but they were still uncertain as to my ailment. I was hooked to an IV, had my blood drawn daily and put on a restricted diet. What I remembered most was being SO Hungry.

In the end, they determined I had ovarian cysts. Cysts?! That sounded a whole lot like cancer to me and I was afraid. They assured me that cysts were not cancerous. I had to be careful and that they would keep on eye on them as I grew up and started having my periods.  Other than monthly cramping (Midol or Pamprin took care of all that PMS stuff) my lady issues seemed uneventful.

Until one day, completely out of the blue, I started bleeding and wouldn’t stop.  At first I had no cramps. I was driving in the work car and felt warmness and then it felt like something passing through me.  A few minutes later, sudden and severe pain kicked. I realized what was happening. I’m bleeding! Am I having a miscarriage?  I didn’t know.  Thankfully I was with female co-workers and they calmly handled the manner and rushed me to the Emergency Room.

There I was being poked and prodded and this time with speculums and transvaginal ultra sound wands, and stuck with IV and blood collection needles. It was pretty traumatic.  It was there that I heard the radiologist whisper to herself – Fibroid.  I was stabilized and sent home to recuperate.  Two weeks later I went to my OBGYN who looked over the hospital charts and did another exam.  Nothing spectacular.  What about fibroids? I asked. I heard the radiologist say she thought she saw fibroids.  He looked a the MRI results and the less-than conclusive ultra sound (I was in a lot of pain and was swelling, the ultra sounds couldn’t get clear images), and looked over my history.  His response: Nah, I don’t think that’s it. Maybe just an adverse reaction to Depo-Provera. It can do that?! I asked. Yes, he said.  Until that moment I had none of the symptoms typical of uterine fibroids.  And after that incident I never did.

Uterine Fibroids are tumors, usually benign – not cancerous, that grow from the uterus.  Most women diagnosed with fibroids complain of very heavy periods, lots of PMS cramps, lower back pain and painful intercourse.  Other than a growing bloated feeling, I felt fine – and I chalked that up to my weight gain.  But more than a year after the incident, I went in for my annual exam and my nurse practitioner remarked, “Uh oh” as she was palpating me on the right side. “Uh oh, what?” I asked. She said my womb felt “full”, like a fibroid was present.  She authorized diagnostic tests and 2 weeks later it was confirmed. I had uterine fibroids.

This is a uterine fibroid. My fibroid, in fact.

In addition to the main bulb which was about the size of a small grapefruit, my fibroids were knobby and growing 'appendages'.

That is my uterus in the top right section of this picture. The fibroids were growing outside of it. Sometimes they grow inside of the uterus or within the walls of the uterus.

I was the latest among my girlfriends who had discovered she had fibroids.  Among 30-something African-American women, uterine fibroids are common.  Very common.  But no one knows exactly why uterine fibroids develop or why Black women seem to get them more than women from other racial/ethnic backgrounds.  Some studies suggest it could hormonal – since it affects women of child-bearing age but who have no children most often.  It also seems to happen to over-weight women more.  Check, check, check, and check.

Because of the disparity, there have been some studies trying to understand why and how uterine fibroids disproportionally affects Black women.  Since it is a reproductive tract related problem, studies focus on physiological explanations.  Hormones seem to be at play, though it is not certain what the mechanisms are.  We do know that after menopause fibroids shrink and the complications associated with them disappear.  If, the tumors are hormone-sensitive, which I believe they may be, then diet and weight make since.  Body fat is metabolically important to gonadal hormones, especially estrogen-family hormones. Estrogen is very sensitive to body fat and circulating fat levels in the blood stream.  In fact, the switch that signals the female body to start puberty is fat-sensitive.  Once the female body reaches a certain weight and body fat composition, her hypothalamus and pituitary gland send signals to the ovaries (and the rest of the body) that this little girl is ready to be a woman.  Primary or vertical growth begins to halt and now that energy is directed to secondary sexual characteristics like growing breasts, and hips, and preparing for monthly menses.  Fat is so important to female menses that under-weight women and also some athletic women fail to have periods sometimes.

So when this came across my Twitter feed from The Root

I had fun, though I wasn’t feeling very sure.

I took notes of the #Scio12 Session on Math Future 2.0

I returned home and gave it another try, this time scribing a dissertation defense.

I soon realized that I needed the right tools, so I went out and spent a little money getting a proper sketchbook and investing in some markers.

I’m feeling better about my results. I like to prepare for the scribing by reading the abstract of the talk and setting up the page, adding the title and some basic illustrations to the page.

Final product, after the seminar talk

My sketch notes aren’t as dramatic as Lalsox‘s but then again, I wasn’t a big time artsy-doodler to begin with.  It’s still fun and I’ll continue to do it.

More Science Scribe 2.0 Alums
Live Scribing at Science Online 2012 at Mad Art Lab
Sketch Notes at Science Online 2012 and Sketchnotes, the Second – Professional Development at Life in the Nerdlet Estuary
I sketched #scio12 at Katie Ph.D.

Here is her story of how she arrived at science.

Charlette Clark, Geologist

“You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can” ~ Jimmy Carter

I have this posted on my mirror, but I find that I do not look at it often enough.  As a geologist/environmental compliance consultant, with nearly 15 years in the field, internships at noteworthy institutions and a couple of decent certifications under my belt, one would think that at this stage of my career I would be set and wouldn’t require the words of others or daily quotes as an inspiration to perform the daily grind of “saving the planet”.  Still I do.  I think, as a touchy feely scientist, we all need that little kick, that motivation to keep us at the top of our game.  Heck, sometimes we need that motivation to even make it off the bench or to even make it to the game.  Here’s my story.

Geology was never the vision for me as a young girl.  I grew up drawing pictures of butterflies and flowers.  I wanted to believe in fairies, flying horses, dragons and the power of what I considered to be the innate goodness of mankind.  Because I connected so well with people of various backgrounds (beyond race, age, gender and class) I was told to go into social work or teaching.  However, teaching (specifically the tact required to be a teacher) never appealed to me.  The friends in high school that I was most drawn to (platonically) were adventurous, free spirited, outdoorsy males.  By default of where I grew up (Powell, Tennessee), coupled with shared interests, these males were usually white. We discussed everything from the latest Metallica releases to hard-core survival tactics in the unlikely event that we ever found ourselves lost in the woods from some phenomenal outdoors expedition.  From them, I learned of the best places to hike and it was in hiking that I found my peace, my center. So when it came time for me to attend college, there was no question that I would be doing something relative to the environment.   I just didn’t know what.  Then one day, during a visit home from college, my father (an employee at the Department of Energy in Oak Ridge, Tennessee) took me on a site visit to a restricted part of the X-10 plant where they used to make parts for nuclear weapons.  On this visit, I saw where and how the government stored their radioactive waste materials.  It changed my life and it was the deciding moment on how I would impact the environment.  At 19 I decided that I wanted to help figure out a better way to store, reuse or dispose of things we discard on a grand scale.  Landfills weren’t going to last forever and the bunkers that contained the radioactive material seemed to go on forever.  As my dad drove me away from those bunkers, I remember the feeling of my heart literally beating faster and my brain stimulated so intensely at the endless possibilities of what laid in store for me!

Behind me are hazardous waste drums at a car manufacturing site that I am testing.

At my college, we did not have an environmental science or environmental engineering program.  We only had a civil engineering program so I enrolled in that hoping to dabble a bit in remediation.  However, I had to take a non-engineering science elective one semester and I chose “Introduction to Geology”.  There, I met a room full of people adventurous, free spirited, outdoorsy males who “got it”.  Who “got” my passion for the outdoors and who embraced the sensation of the sun of your face.  The engineers I met were smart, but frankly lacked that depth of spirit, that interpersonal connection that was such an innate fabric of my being.  So I switched majors and became a geology student and from there I developed critical thinking without having to sacrifice my soul to the “straight and narrow gods”.   As the only African American person in that department, somehow I still never felt out of place because my zest for science and understanding the earth and her processes made me feel secure and at home.  As oftentimes the lone female in the bunch, I managed to excel because I made bloody sure that I could do anything the boys could so…and sometimes I did it better than I thought I could.  It was not to be competitive in a negative sense, but I did it to establish the fact that I BELONGED THERE.  There were boys and professors who tried to discourage me, intimidate me but I outlasted them because I knew in my gut that I belonged in that building with those rocks and minerals.  Somehow, even though they were not like me, I proved by default that I was a lot like them and my tenacity kept me in the game.  My passion to learn rock formations and to perform intellectually what was asked of me superseded eating, sleeping, dancing and on occasion bathing (smile).  In the end I succeeded. I did what I had to do and did it even better than I thought I could and oddly enough, in my plight to be a geologist, my “schooling” never superseded my natural gravitation to connect with people on a level beyond the superficial.  It’s almost an oxymoron to me that a person who is so drawn to the most lifeless thing on this planet (rocks and dirt) can be so effortlessly in tune with the life force of nature…the life force that we all possess.

Geologist Charlette Clark on a roof doing a spill prevention assessment

Now, as a consultant, I see that oxymoron is a gift.  That trait to look for the best in people has sustained me as a scientist.  True, I have the degrees: BS Geology (Bachelor of Science degree), MSPH in Environmental Health (Masters of Science in Public Health), and CHMM (Certified Hazardous Materials Manager). I have worked on some extremely stressful, intense projects.  I’m still working nights at times.  Even more challenging is the fact that soil and groundwater remediation technology is ever evolving, as it should. Yet, what has consistently been more important to me has been to ensure that I understood the needs of others and then to go the extra mile to convey that understanding into a product they could walk away with.  I take great joy in that.  I’m still the only African American Geology graduate from Tennessee Technological University.  I’m still questioned by colleagues who doubt that I belong in this field of study.  I’m still getting up every day to prove myself to MYSELF and to others.  I’m certainly still trying to find that balance between eating, sleeping, dancing, bathing and meeting that deadline. However, I am happy with my decision to be a scientist and not a teacher (as my father desired) nor a fairy (what I desired).  Instead, I am a product of the best of both worlds and of many worlds.  I am science.

And today, when I talk to young people or parents/teachers who ask me questions about science and education, it keeps coming back to their interests in know, Who has paved this road before? Because surely someone else has done it? No matter how independent and strong-minded we are, at the end of day, no one likes to feel all alone at the end of the journey. If we can’t have company, then we at least want know that we’re following in someone’s footsteps or that someone is following in ours. We want to be part of something.  I like for people to know who these other people are – whether they be pioneers or masters or journeymen along the way. In fact, when comes to careers in nature and the outdoors, there are role models, alive and with us now, for people – young and young-at-heart to look up to.

1. David Lindo, The Urban Birder – Birder & Wildlife Photographer
Whenever I discuss lessons about the scientific method, I tell students that observation is the foundation of all scientific pursuits. The very act of paying close attention – watching and listening – is the beginning of every scientific endeavor. And no one embodies this more than David Lindo. A Londoner who began his hobby career as a Naturalist, Birder and Urban Ecologist at the age of nine.  Naturalists are individuals who study the natural history of organisms, like plants and animals in the wild.  If you have ever visited a State or National Park and went on a tour where someone pointed out different wildlife and explained to you how they lived, survived weather changes, competed for food/shelter/mates and died, then you met a Naturalist.  You don’t have to have a college degree to become a naturalist, but it does take years of study to become a good one.

Read more about Urban Bird Watching with David Lindo here.

2. Akiima Price, Environmental Educator
Formerly the Chief of Education with the New York Restoration Project, this DC/Baltimore native found her way to a career in Environmental Education, via a serendipitous summer job experience.  Now she is an Environmental Education Curriculum specialist who specifically focuses on how to involve urban audiences in environmental science and proactive initiatives to improve their own health and communities.  Environmental Education are formal and informal science and social science studies about how nature works, how people interact with nature and wildlife, as well as our roles as consumers, protectors, and stewards.  Most jobs in environmental education require at least a college degree and environmental educators work in middle/high schools, museums, and sometimes for non-profit environmental organizations.

Learn more about what Akiima Price does, here:

3. Dr. Stewart Pickett, Urban Ecologist
I was first made aware by Dr. Pickett March of 2009 when I was having a conversation with Dr. Peter Raven, yes, THE Peter Raven, and telling him my interest in urban ecology and diversity in science outreach.  He told me about his colleague and suggested I look him up for future opportunities. Fast forward to May 16th and I’m attending the annual American Institute of Biological Sciences meeting in Washington, DC. I am sitting next to a distinguished gentleman who is tells me he enjoys my blog – Urban Science Adventures! © and that he voted for me to receive my award.  We share pleasantries and realize we know some of the same people, including person #5, below.  It wasn’t until he walked away that I noticed his name tag, Dr. Steward Pickett of the Cary Institute of Ecosystems Studies.  Dr. Stewart is a Researcher and Plant Ecologist and studies plant communities including different species that live in certain environments, especially human-dominated environments like inner-cities.  At his professional level, a graduate degree in biology, botany, or ecology are required to design and carry out such large-scale scientific studies.

If you want to know more about Urban Ecology, check out his presentation about the Baltimore Ecosystem Study, here.

4. Dr. Charles Nilon, Wildlife Ecologist
Dr. Nilon studies how urbanization affects wildlife – both the communities of plants and animals and their habitats. He is a Professor in the Fisheries & Wildlife Sciences Department at the University of Missouri.  He and his students study how plants and animals respond to changes in their environment as human-development moves in, for example studying wildlife in more sub-urban areas and then tracking those changes as neighborhoods become more and more urbanized over time.  College professors who conduct large-scale research projects and mentor other students require a graduate level degree, a PhD, in the life sciences such as biology, zoology, natural resources, ecology, or wildlife & fisheries.

Learn more about Dr. Nilon’s route to becoming a Wildlife Ecologist, here.

5. Dr. Tommy Parker, Biologist
I must disclose that I know Tommy. We went to graduate school together and received our Master’s degrees from the same institution.  We both grew up in Memphis, Tennessee, and like most inner-city kids spent our summers and after-school evenings playing outside in parks.  We also realized we really enjoyed the outdoors, getting dirty and watching animals. Maybe that’s why kids like us grow up to come biologists who study wildlife who live in urban areas.  Now, Tommy is an Assistant Professor of Biology and Head of the Urban Wildlife Research Lab at the University of Louisville.  A graduate level degree in biology, ecology, or wildlife biology is necessary to have a successful career in urban wildlife biology.  Wildlife biologists find jobs working in research labs at universities, government agencies like US Fish & Wildlife or Forestry Services, and sometimes with non-governmental organizations like the Sierra Club.

Learn more about Dr. Parker’s research of urban wildlife, here.

This post is part of my Black History Month, Blacks in Science tribute and will be submitted to the Diversity in Science Carnival, February 2012 edition.

Diversity in Science Carnival

I kicked things off with a discussion of the phrase Survival of the Fittest and lead off with lecture notes in my Hip Hop Evolution Files: Quick & Dirty explanation of Natural Selection by Daft Punk post.  Taking Karen James‘ critiques into consideration, I went into a full-on explanation of Lamarckian Evolution and the fallacy of conflating individual effort as contributing to adaptation.

Lamarckian selection focuses on the individual and the individual can ‘shape’ the traits in question. Unlike Larmarkian selection, natural selection focuses on the population and acts on variation of the traits.  Which I emphasized to students are phenotypes (P). Despite the heavy attention many scientists pay to genetic inputs of traits, Genes (G) are only half of the story — if that much. I’m on team Environmental Effects (E).

But no doubt, individuals and their efforts still matter. After all, if an individual dies before it leave offspring – for whatever reason – then it affects what is in the collective gene/phenotype pool for natural selection to work with. You understand? Which brings us to another evolutionary biology tongue-twister: Heritability and Heredity and distinguishing Heritable Traits and Inherited Traits.

From SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic on the Southern Fried Science Network.

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Heredity is with the likelihood or probability of traits running in families.  However, it is important to keep in mind that a trait can be heritable due to genetics (G) or environment (E) – that whole nature vs. nurture argument. Environmental or nurturing effects include habits, behaviors, as well as physical/emotional/psychological experiences.  Relatives often demonstrate similar habits and behavior and we share experiences with them as well.

Genetically we share half of our genes with each of our parents and a quarter of the same genes as each of our grandparents.  These genes we get directly from our parents/grandparents, we inherit from them, as are the traits we have that are determined by these genes.

However, our shared habits, behaviors and experiences are not genetic, but are still heritable traits – there are is a great likelihood we share these traits with our relatives.  Heritability is the likelihood of getting something…in other words, you might get it. It’s not automatic – like genetic inheritance, but the chances look good.  The important thing to keep in mind is that inherited traits are directly passed down from parents to children, whereas heritable traits are not necessarily genetic.

To wrap things up, I had students take a quick little quiz to see if they could distinguish between inherited traits and heritable traits.  Let’s see how you do. Play the first verse.

Mama Got Ass (She Get it From Her Mama) by Juvenile

Oh, where she get her eyes from? She get it from her mamma.
Inherited. Eye color is determined by simple Mendelian genetic rules. You get a gene from your mom and dad.

Oh, where she get her thighs from? She get it from her mamma.
Inherited. But also keep in mind some environmental influences like eating and exercise habits mom and daughter might have in common.

Where she learn how to cook from? She get it from her mamma.
Heritable. There are no genes for cooking or someone being a good cook, which I am sure Juvenile is rapping about. Who gives props to a bad cook?

Oh, where she get them looks from? She get it from her mamma.
This could be both. Genes for face and body structure are inherited from parents, but how a woman presents herself – such as style of dress - is often an environmental influence and most young women pattern that style after their mothers.

But where she get that ass from? She get it from her mamma.
Inherited, but see thigh reference.

But where she get her class from? She get it from her mamma.
Heritable. Offspring often ‘pick up’ behavioral tendencies from parents and other individuals in their social circle.

Oh, where she get that chest from? She get it from her mamma.
Inherited, but see thigh reference.

Where she learn how to dress from? She get it from her mamma.
Heritable, but see class reference.

Where does she get her sense from? She get it from her mamma.
Depends. If he means she may be mentally ill it could be inherited. A few mental disorders are due to genetic mishaps, but I’m guessing he means her general way of behaving in public.  She has good or bad home training, therefore it is heritable.

Where does she get her income? She get it from her mamma.
Could be both. In human cultures, offspring often INHERIT wealth from parents, passed down directly from one generation to another. Of course this isn’t genetic, but the rule of ‘being passed down directly from parent to child’ means that it is inherited. However, income is also heritable, in the sense that often children follow the same occupation choices as their parents.

Look, where she get that walk from? She get it from her mamma.

Chorus (I think it speaks for it self)
A big fine woman’ll make you smile when she pass you,
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too.
A big fine woman’ll make you smile when she pass you,
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too.

Natural with no extensions. She get it from her mamma. Yep, I sure did!